Mezzanine

| 50 |

It felt like everything was spinning around me. Not only had Damien been to the house where my mom and I had been living, but he'd found a tape recorded by our father...a tape made for us.

"What's on the tape?" I asked.

Silence.

"Damien," I growled as I clenched my hand into a fist involuntarily. My knuckles cracked with the pressure. "Tell me what's on the tape."

"It's..." he started, but he stalled as the door to the house swung open. "Lola?" He turned to face where she stood just inside the living room, her gaze fixed ahead, not looking at us.

The way she stood there, staring out into the night, set all of my nerves on end. Something wasn't right.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

She shook her head, like she was breaking herself from a trance, and looked at Damien and me. "Fine," she said. "I just...I think I need some air. I heard the rain letting up. I thought I'd go for a walk."

"It's the middle of the night," I said.

"I won't be long." She made her way across the porch and toward the stairs.

Damien looked at me, biting his lip nervously before turning back to Lola. "We'll come with you."

Lola glanced over her shoulder, her glistening hazel eyes flickering between the two of us for a second before she took another step down the stairs. "I'd like to go alone."

We watched as she headed towards the road, turning in the direction of the ocean.

My heart raced as I stood up. Something wasn't right. She wasn't acting like herself...and where was Carter? He was supposed to be with her.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Damien's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Or do you want to go alone?"

I hadn't realized it, but I was already halfway down the stairs.

I shook my head. "I'll go alone." I looked back at the front door. "Can you...can you check on Carter for me?"

Damien nodded. "Yeah. I'll make sure he's okay."

"Thanks." I hesitated, my eyes locking with his for a second. They flickered with warmth, reflecting the shuddering flame of the candle between us.

I wasn't sure what I was searching for...maybe a sign that I could trust him, but I didn't feel it. I wanted to trust him. I wanted things to go back to the way they were between us...but everything still hurt. My chest ached with betrayal. I didn't know how or if I'd ever fully be able to forgive him, and for some reason I couldn't explain, I felt like I needed to protect Carter and Lola from him.

"Jay," he broke me from my thoughts. "You need to go. Carter will be fine."

"Okay." I nodded. Right now, I needed to trust him, whether I wanted to or not.

My feet splashed through puddles on the sidewalk as I jogged down the street in the direction Lola had gone. The rain had eased to a drizzle. The moon shined through a patch of thinning clouds, casting a whisper of light over the seaside town.

In the distance, Lola walked toward the beach. I slowed my pace as I approached. Something wasn't right, and I didn't want to startle her. I kept her far enough that I wouldn't disturb her, but not so far that I wouldn't be able to reach her in a matter of seconds if anything went wrong.

"Where are you going, Lola?" I whispered to myself under my breath.

Finally, we reached Ocean Avenue. She didn't even glance over her shoulder as she crossed the boardwalk, heading down the stairs on the other side that led to the beach. She walked a few yards across the sand, and then she paused, staring out into the sea.