Grown (Lumax) COMPLETE

Panicking And Planning

TW// Mentions of sex, sexual abuse.

I'm going to emphasize this warning. This chapter contains a brief sexual scene. It's not detailed or graphic, but it's just the tiniest bit more sexual than what I'd usually do. I also feel that it would be very triggering for anyone that has trauma from sexual abuse.

The second time is the charm, or so they say. However, the second time Max opened the door to intimacy she got her worst nightmare.

Max was fine at first. She easily slipped into a passionate make out session with Lukas. His hands ran along her body gently. He asked for permission before moving his kisses to her neck. She even hurried him, wanting to get to the part that had her so nervous.

With her permission, Lukas pulled down her shorts. She didn't react, she just stared at the ceiling. It was happening so fast, so why did it feel like it would never end?

Max looked down and noticed where Lukas' hand was. It was in the one place that was supposed to feel amazing. Why didn't she feel anything? It dawned on Max that she couldn't feel anything. She was in shock, her body was in survival mode. Her brain received this as a threat. She couldn't even find the words to say.

Thankfully Lukas looked up and saw that her face wasn't matching the situation. He quickly took his hands off of her body. "Max?" Once she didn't respond, he pulled her shorts back over her hips. Then he turned the lamp back on so he could see better. "Darling, talk to me."

Max closed her eyes and let out a defeated sigh. "I can't do it..."

"Okay, don't worry." Lukas gave her some space "did I do something wrong?"

"N-no...I don't know what's wrong." Max closed her eyes.

"Do you want some alone time?" Lukas suggested.

"No, I want to keep going... I'm just really nervous, just take it slow." Max contradicted what she said a minute ago.

"You said you couldn't?" Lukas reminded her. "Let's just breathe and relax, you made really good progress. We can try again some other time."

"But I want to just try again now." Max tried to convince him.

"I don't want to, maybe tomorrow night." Lukas covered Max up with the blanket and gently caressed her face. "I love you so much, darling."

"I thought I was going to do it..." Max said, disappointed.

"It's okay, angel. Come here." Lukas got under the blanket with her and held her tightly. "Don't let this ruin your mood. You tried it, that's more than you thought you would do a couple months ago. Progress is progress, even when it seems small and unimportant."

"I guess youre right..." Max took a deep breath and cuddled into Lukas. "My body feels tingly...not in a good way."

"Do you want me to go?" Lukas let go of her.

"No, I want to cuddle. I'm just still a little...out of it. I couldn't feel anything...it was like everything shut down, including my brain for a minute." Max had always feared seeing Lukas as a predator. She never wanted to let her trauma convince her that he would ever take advantage of her. Yet, it happened. In that moment her mind saw Lukas as a threat. "I just...don't understand. Last night, I was fine...I don't see why I'm not now?"

Lukas thought about it while playing with her hair. "There's one difference I can think of."

"What?" Max looked at him.

"Last night you weren't the receiver, you were the one giving the act." Lukas explained in the most non sexual way he could. In case sexual terms made Max more uncomfortable at this time.